What’s up guys? Jason Julius here and I want to make this post to talk to you about using basic erotic massage to bring a woman to orgasm.
What I’m about teach you is not so much a technique but more of a methodology because it’s not so much the technique of this particular massage but rather the principles behind what we’re going to be doing that make the difference in getting the desired outcome, which in this situation is giving our woman a full body vaginal orgasm.
So first we’ll talk about what to do, then we’ll talk about the why. It’s important to understand why this works, and I think you might find it surprising so let’s get started with what to do.
What we’re about to do can be very helpful for giving her her first vaginal orgasm, and especially helpful if she has trouble letting go, this will get her over the edge to let go and have the orgasm.
So here’s what you do…
Lay down a towel on the bed, or where ever works best for you to comfortably give her a massage. If your a weirdo like me and have a massage table in your bedroom you can certainly use that, but using a bed will work just fine.
The towel is really just optional, but it will prevent the massage oil from running down onto the sheets, and more importantly it will give her a sense that it’s ok to let go and squirt or ejaculate when she has an orgasm.
Next have her lay down on her stomach, fully nude on the towel and tell her to just relax. Now at this point I would assume that you know that you will also be fully nude while doing the massage, but I thought I better mention it because I could see a few guys trying this out with their jeans on and creating a very awkward moment, so just so we’re clear this is erotic massage and both of you will be nude.
Alright, so if you can turn on some slow sensual music. This will eliminate any awkward silence while you’re massaging her, and help to get her deeply relaxed.
Now if you’re doing this on a bed the best position for you is to straddle her body and sit directly on her butt so that you can reach up to her shoulders.
You want to apply a lubricant to start the massage. What I recommend using is Grape Seed Oil. It’s a great oil used by some of the best massage therapist, it’s very healthy for the skin, it’s made up of Omega 6 fatty acids and Vitamin E, and it’s much lighter than other oils. Now we’re going to be blending our massage right into vaginal stimulation using the same lubricant. If you’re going to be using a condom afterward for intercourse make sure to use a water based lubricant. Yes you can use something like Astroglide for the massage and then go right into vaginal stimulation. If that’s not a concern then I recommend using 100% pure food grade Grape seed oil that you can find at most grocery stores. Some Grape Seed Oils that are sold as massage oils have things added to them that are not safe for internal use, so make sure you use the kind you can eat or cook with. Grape seed oil is the best massage oil, and it’s also the best lubricant to use while stimulating the inside of her vagina.
So you’re sitting on her butt, she’s fully relaxed underneath you, what you want to do is simply pour a little bit of lubricant into your hands first and then begin rubbing her shoulders. Now as I mentioned we’re not going to get overly concerned with massage technique. While there’s a lot of value in knowing great technique, and there’s a lot we can do to enhance the sexual experience using massage, I don’t want you to get caught up with that here.
Our goal here is to get her deeply relaxed, get her mind very present, and get her breathing very relaxed as well.
So start out by rubbing her shoulders and neck for about 5-10 minutes, then slowly work your way down her back. When you get to her butt simply slide your body backward and continue the massage by massaging her butt muscles.
Nothing about the massage at this point is highly sexual, she should be fully relaxed and enjoying the massage with out thinking to much.
Now what we want to do is blend the massage right into vaginal stimulation, while keeping her body relaxed.
Let me say that again because this part is very important…
What we want to do is blend the massage right into vaginal stimulation, while keeping her body relaxed.
Since you already have lubricant on your hands you can seamlessly go from relaxing massage, to rubbing the outside of her vagina, then enter her to stimulate either her G Spot or her A Spot. You can use a simple technique such as our single finger G Spot technique, however remember that since she is on her stomach the front wall of her vagina where here G Spot is located is going to be down rather than up. So make sure you go down and use firm pressure pull down on the front wall of her vagina.
If she starts to move or tense up tell her to just relax and to concentrate on taking deep breathes. Keep her relaxed and stimulate the inside of her vagina until she has an orgasm.
OK, so basically all we’ve done here is get her body and mind very relaxed by giving her a massage, then we blended that massage right into vaginal stimulation while keeping her body and mind in that relaxed state.
This works like crazy for giving her a vaginal orgasm! However let’s talk about why this works so well because I think there are some important distinctions to be made here that will give you a deeper understanding of giving women orgasms.
As I mentioned it’s not the massage that’s doing it, but rather it’s the way that massage aligns her body and mind in a way that her body naturally needs to be in in order to orgasm.
It’s a shift in her physiology, what she’s focused on, and the meaning of the situation.
You see, in order to orgasm a woman must be very in the moment. Her mind needs to be very present.
She needs to have slow deep breathing, however for many women when they experience the sensation of vaginal stimulation their breathing gets shallow without them thinking about it, so keeping her relaxed and concentrating on deep breathes will prevent that.
In order to orgasm her body needs to be very relaxed. Just like the breathing many women tense their body when they experience the sensation of vaginal stimulation, however in order to orgasm she needs to keep her body relaxed so starting out with her body relaxed and not letting her tense up is important.
This allows for the free flow of endorphins in the body which is critical for orgasm, and many women have built up tension in their body that until it’s released they may not be able to reach their full potential of orgasm. That’s where massage technique can become more important but we can talk about that in another video.
A very important distinction here is by giving her a massage and blending it into the sexual stimulation it makes it OK for it be “all about her”. A woman’s natural tendency is to be more of a giver than a receiver, so often times when we go right in and start stimulating her, her mind has a difficult time relaxing because she’s not fully comfortable with the entire focus being on her. By setting up the dynamic of the situation in such a way that you’re simply giving her a nice massage it makes it easier for her to just relax so by the time you begin stimulating her, her mind won’t throw in any objections.
Getting her very relaxed and very in the moment before we turn it into a sexual experience frees her from the interruption of self limiting self talk in her mind. Studies have shown that the arousal part of a woman’s brain responds to pornographic images just as much as a man’s brain does, however many women interrupt and actually short circuit their own arousal with self limiting dialogue. When her conscious mind is full of self limiting talk such as “I’m to fat for that”, “that’s to naughty”, “what if I’m not good enough” it’s impossible for her to become fully present to enjoy the orgasm. Women with high self esteem have an easier time reaching orgasm because they are less likely to interrupt the natural process with self limiting dialogue. However we can prevent any of this dialogue from even happening by putting her body and her mind in a state that is aligned to orgasm.
Her body is relaxed, her breathing is deep, her mind is relaxed, and we’re able to stimulate her and get her body to do what it naturally wants to do which is give in and experience a full body orgasm.
It’s important to understand the distinctions of why this works. If we understand that it’s not just the massage but the various ways it lines up her physiology, her focus, and the meaning of the situation to allow her to orgasm, then we can replicate the result in any variety of ways.
Massage is a great way to start with this. This method is very simple, yet works great.
Give it a try and I’ll talk to you soon.
- Jason Julius